Knowing THE TRUTH by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein

Today’s guest blogger is Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein the originator of The Enchanted Self(R). She has been a positive psychologist in private practice and licensed in the states of New Jersey and Massachusetts since 1981. She is currently in private practice in Long Branch, New Jersey with her husband, Dr. Russell M. Holstein. 

She is the author of The Enchanted Self, A Positive Therapy, Recipes for Enchantment, The Secret Ingredient is YOU! and There Comes A Time In Every Woman’s Life for DELIGHT.  

Her newest book, The Truth, I’m Ten, I’m Smart and I Know Everything! is another first in positive psychology. Written by a ten year old girl as a diary, Dr. Barbara has been able to imbed lots of positive truths that we all need to remember and live by, regardless of our age. 

The girl’s edition, titled: The Truth, (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) debuted February 2008 in bookstores nationwide. You can get your copy now at

“Knowing THE TRUTH” by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein

Over twenty-five years of clinical work with women in my psychology practice has convinced me that many, many women forget the truth. I want them to not forget, which is why I wrote The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything). But you ask, “Isn’t this a book for older kids, tweens and teens?”

My answer is yes it is. But just think about it. If the young people of today are not helped to get in touch with the truth, won’t they be the women of tomorrow who have forgotten so much that is important? So where better to start than with girls, tweens and teens?

And now you may ask, “What exactly is the truth? What is it that women seem to have forgotten?”

Let me tell you. Often, we women seem to forget what the ten- or eleven-year-old girl inside of us once knew with such certainty. We forget how strong we are. We forget how astute we are at sizing up the world. We forget our capacity to recover from hurts and build successful new relationships.

We forget so much of our childhood wisdom. We forget the excitement and enthusiasm that comes from letting our passionate natures come out to play. And we forget how to laugh, laugh from our bellies. We forget how to intensely react to daily life. So often we forget how to have fun. Many of us don’t allow the playful part of ourselves to come out. We don’t know how to let out, safely, the imp inside of us. And we forget how proud we can feel about ourselves.

I see it as a tragic loss—we have forgotten so many of the simple truths known to us in our girlhood. The cost is enormous. Many of us walk around out of sorts, some of us are depressed, feeling like we’re a balloon that has pins pricked into it. Many of us don’t achieve our birth right of living out our potential. Falling by the wayside, many of us are under utilized, under educated, and marginally productive.

Some of us spend our time ruminating, feeling bad, wishing we had made other choices with our lives, and often seeing ourselves as in hopeless situations. Too often we blame others, saying someone else is responsible for the decay of our own lives, having lost any sense that we are navigators of our lives. Like sleeping beauty, we await a prince to awaken us, rather than awaking ourselves to our own riches: our capacities for joy and fun, to create, study, invent, innovate, lead, recover, re-invent, feel, love, discover, share, etc.

So to the girls and young women of today! Read this little book and soak in the messages of Truth that are impeded in it! Hold on to your wisdom and your strengths! Hold on to you potential. Hold on to your resiliency. Don’t sell out. Grow into each stage of life with courage and sureness! And by the way, make sure your moms read the book to. (Actually, there is an adult version. The Truth (I’m ten, I’m smart and I know everything) is also available.)

Good luck! You can do it! You can hold on to the Truth and so can your Moms!

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